ugh yes(via rscle)
And so it is.
I can accept my own flaws and the flaws of others. We’re just trying to find how to be happy :)
I’m lucky enough to Be happy. When I want to be hahaha
Go easy on yourself Dylan :)
You’re only turning 21! So young :)
So much more to learn, step by step, the universe will guide the way :)
It’s been an interesting day.
I’m feeling weird about acting so weird at asking for a job at Earth’s Kitchen. The manager, Judith, is a lovely lady, VERY smart, she can read my exterior like a book. But she can’t read who I am underneath.. So she’s seen this nervous 20 year old who can’t get his words out right and seems incredibly naive and makes way too many assumptions.
So this feels uncomfortable…
So I guess I’ve just got to show her the real me when I see her again :)
I still beat myself up for like nothing dude. I did so well. I got myself a trial shift for fuck sake hey! That’s pretty fucking cool shit. At like, the best place for me, ever.
Take a chill pill Dill :P
Manifesting real shit bro!
Life’s gonna get good!
When you keep blaming yourself for every person that does not like you back,
for every single person that refuses to give you the time of day,
for every person that doesn’t care like you do.
When you keep telling yourself that your worth is based off of the approval of the boy you’ve been crushing on,
or the girl that has been on your mind the past four months,
when you look at yourself in the mirror and you aren’t attracted to yourself,
when you need to find someone else to be attracted to you,
when everyone’s existence becomes something you need to lean on so you don’t fall,
when you realize that people aren’t walls,
they are like tables or chairs,
if you continue to lean on them, they will move,
they will fall over,
and you will go down with them.
When you start to see that you are the only person that is able to see your own beauty,
whether it’s within you or whether it’s plastered across your face,
as that smile that you can’t hold back.
You are your own wall,
you must learn how to lean on yourself.
You are strong, you are self-reliant, you are independent,
you will not let his lack of feelings for you bring you down,
it is not your fault.
You will not let her lack of commitment with you convince you that you aren’t worth it,
you are worth so much more than her rejection,
sometimes feelings don’t correspond,
sometimes love is unrequited,
and sometimes emotions or lack of them are impossible to tame.
I have found that love isn’t supposed to come easy,
it isn’t important to be constantly looking for it.
It’ll come eventually,
I haven’t found it yet,
but I am building myself.
I am my own wall,
I lean on myself,
I have others to lean on,
but I will not put my entire body weight on them,
for I know they will fall,
and I will fall with them.
- Becky Yeker (via awakeandempty)
I’ve even gotten so low as to contemplate suicide again. Why the fuck? There is no logical reason. Only to escape the pains of physicality. Of course it’s just a passing thought though. Thank god.
I just want to talk to people. To open myself to them. To share and feel equal. Why am I alone again..
Why am I feeling sorry for myself? Making myself the victim?
Heavy as shit energies. All for depth. Fuck. Can this month get it’s shit done already please.
I want my didge already so I can release my emotions through it.
What a life I lead. Humbled.
Not only do I get to have a body, which can taste and feel and see and hear this sensory world… This body also is lucky enough to be able to fully immerse itself in dance, share warm hugs with countless people, it gets to talk and share it’s life story (when it sums up the courage..), and to top all of that off, it gets to experience true magik through crystals, didgeridoo, and meditations.
This life is only just getting started..!
And it’s gonna get REAL GOOD!
More emotional/past clearing to do still, as always, and it’s never easy. But it always pays off, because I am only freeing myself more from this prison of mind.
I’m deeply appreciative that I’ve got an incredible best friend right now to share my journey with. Without her, i wouldn’t feel quite comfortable to fully open up to anyone else.. We understand each other on a very deep level, and we always guide each other to overcome our obstacles. And we work through our differences respectfully and compassionately.. And we finally feel balanced now. Allowing each other to be free to fully be ourselves.
I’m learning to open up to new people now, step by step. And will continue to open up to everyone I already know more too. I’ve protected myself for a long time. But what for? There is nothing to truly fear in the universe. It’s time to be vulnerable. And free.
Thank you, Life.
sinnermatic asked: hey buddy! remember me? :') i got a hug from you in the city on valentines day, i love your blog so much man, whats your facebook page on healing? i'd be keen to have a look at it, you're seriously one of the nicest people i've ever met and i hope that you find ultimate happiness, you deserve it :)
Yeah man, I remember you :D
Bless your soul kind one! You deserve this happiness too!
And my page is now Adelaide’s Crystal Man, hehehe :)